I kept going back and forth about whether I was going to write this post or not. Last week, I posted the above photo on Instagram and I mentioned a difficult time I was in the midst of, when this shoot took place (roughly 7 months ago). Even now, as I’m writing I’m wondering if I still should. I consider myself pretty active on social media, but I also consider myself to be a private person. I know right?! I just don’t share every detail of my life. For instance, I workout pretty regularly but you might not know that because I don’t post about it. Sure, you know I hike, but that isn’t the extent of my fitness routine. Like I’ve mentioned in a previous blog post, Instagram is a highlight reel of most people’s lives. There are certain moments people decide to share that contain more real or gritty aspects of their lives and I think that’s a great thing. I think people share those types of things for multiple reasons. One of them may be to create a space where there is a sense of community and relatability. In a world full of inauthenticity, that can be extremely refreshing.

So that’s why I’m here. Even as I’m typing, I’ve deleted and rewritten this a hundred times. I have decided that instead of telling you that I lost one of my best friends because of a silly dispute that was ultimatum driven (I don’t do ultimatums), I will focus on the beauty in letting unhealthy friendships die. Honestly, the only reason I am sharing a snippet of what has transpired is because the energy I repackaged, truly transformed these photos in a way I didn’t imagine them to. The viewer may not see what I see and that is perfectly fine, but to feel the energy reignited in these images and to see that transfer of energy into something so beautiful is why they are so special to me. They are a reminder to me that I turned a shitty situation into a positive one by doing one of my favorite things, creating. Creating has the ability to get you through anything.

Some small but impactful take aways and things I try to remember are as follows:

• mental exhaustion is real so protect your mind at all costs

• transfer negative energy into productivity

• check your own toxicity

• process your emotions entirely

Admittedly, I was left feeling hurt, angry, confused, discarded and insignificant, but you know what they say [I’m they btw]. You can’t keep a Queen down too long. At the end of the day you just got to let that hurt go boo. The amount of weight that comes off will have you will feeling like you can fly. That’s truly what it’s done for me.

Anyways… Youtube video on the look is here.